The whole point of these blog postings is to share my
journey of recovery from co-dependence to interdependence on Christ. What is "interdependence"?
·
a mutually dependent relationship
(Merriam-Webster)
What does “dependence” mean?
·
the quality or state of
being dependent; especially : the quality or state of being influenced or determined by or
subject to another
·
3: one that is relied on (Merriam-Webster)
I see Jesus
interwoven into these definitions. I
want to be in a “mutually dependent” relationship with Him. I rely on Him and He uses me to accomplish
His Father’s will on this planet. I want
to be “influenced” by Him alone, not always reading off a script from my
past. I want what I do “determined” by
Jesus and “subject” to Him—He alone is who I answer to and not to that voice
that says I must help everyone with everything.
Let’s move,
sweet CoDeWo’s, from being “grasshoppers” to a “giant.” We need a quick review here. The spies scope out the Promised Land, per
Moses’ order. Despite returning with a
beautiful bunch of grapes, and telling the people how the land flows with milk
and honey, the spies undermine it all by bewailing how enormous the inhabitants
are:
We are not able to go up against the people, for
they are stronger than we.” And they gave the children of
Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, “The land
through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its
inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw in it are men
of great stature. There we saw the giants…and we
were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their
sight.” (Numbers 13:31-33)
As CoDeWo’s, how are we G.R.A.S.S.H.O.P.P.E.R.S.?
·
Geared
up: We are always ready to go when someone needs help
·
Ready
to drop everything: Day or night, rain
or sun, we aim to fix the problem right now
·
Asking
no questions: We avoid conflict by
avoiding what may be really going on
·
Speaking
no Biblical truth: Are you kidding?
·
Solo
effort: Others may have left, often wisely, but we soldier on
·
Helping
gives us our…
·
Only
purpose: We draw our identity and worth from helping others
·
Perplexed: Why isn’t this person getting better? This
person’s problems seem…
·
Perennial: No matter what this person does, problems
follow problems
·
Endlessly
eager: If we hear, “No!” in our heart, we don’t listen and go anyway
·
Residing
in The Resentful Land: The Promised Land
is for others; we live here
·
Sidelined
from His Service: Serving? Yes.
Him? Don’t know—we gotta go!
How about being a G.I.A.N.T.?
·
Grace: People have a sin nature; only God can
transform their hearts
·
Interdependence: We do only what God calls us to do; Jesus
only followed His Father; us, too
· Acceptance: I must accept I may not be the one to help
this person; God may use many people to
reach this person; that person may need
to be in the desert a long time
·
Needful: This means “necessary,” or “requisite”--Mary knew
Jesus Himself is the only “necessary”;
Martha was lost in doing for Jesus, not
listening to Jesus
·
Truth: As God reveals in His Word, wise counsel and
prayer; then act on it
What a difference, huh? Being a grasshopper is being focus on
us: our efforts, our perspective, our
action. Being a giant recognizes
limitations on what we can do for others; it is truly only the Holy Spirit that
can go deep into a person’s spirit and make a real difference. He may take way longer to do His work than we would, but
His work is long-lasting. Our work is a
temporary fix in a person's life.
How can we go from grasshoppers to giants? Simple:
Follow Jesus.
Hang on! What do you think I am doing? I try to serve Him every day by serving others. While the pastor sleeps, I am at a needy person’s house at 3 a.m. when the parole officer shows up and there's a bottle of alcohol on the table. He calls me, and here I go.
I love to serve, and people always come to me with their problems. Turning them down would be cruel.
When you talk tough, it seems un-Christian to me. Saying “No” to a needy person seems selfish and mean.
I hate conflict, and if I speak truth to my mother-in-law whose constant involvement in my marriage is slowly destroying it, I will get slammed by the family.
How can I cut off ties with my brother? Yes, he lies and continues to abuse drugs, but I am the only family member who sticks by him.
I turn the other cheek when my father condemns me; I hope to show him Christ’s love.
“Following Jesus” sounds too much like a Hallmark card, with little touch with reality. You don’t know my life.
You are right. I don’t. But I know Someone who does. Let’s look carefully at His words regarding how and when He served the Father. Jesus shows us how to move from co-dependence to interdependence on Him by walking each moment in fellowship with Him. Jesus showed us the way and we can do so as well, His power is in us.
·
But Jesus answered them, “My Father has been working until now, and I have been working.”
(John 5:17)
·
Then Jesus answered and
said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but
what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like
manner. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself
does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. (John 5:19-20)
·
I can of Myself do
nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.
(John 5:30)
·
How can you believe, who
receive honor from one another, and do not seek the
honor that comes from the only God? (John 5:44)
In these verses, Jesus is addressing
the Pharisees, who are seeking to kill Him, for He upstages them and is popular
with the masses. But do you see an
application for you and me? If we follow
Jesus, look how reliant He is on His Father for everything He says and does.
Wait a minute. Of course He does
that—He’s the Son of God.
Yes, but while He is here on
earth, and having wrapped Himself in human flesh, He had limitations:
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in
Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count
equality with God a thing to be grasped [or a thing to be held onto for
advantage] but emptied himself, by taking the form of
a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in
human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of
death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly
exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on
earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ
is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Phil. 2:5-10) (Bible Gateway NIV
Footnotes)
Did you catch that? Jesus’ divinity could have protected Him from
our humanity’s slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but He did not come
here to experience a diluted form of our suffering. He felt our humanity in full force:
Seeing that we have a great High Priest who has
entered the inmost Heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to our
faith. For we have no superhuman High Priest to whom our weaknesses are
unintelligible—he himself has shared fully in all our experience of temptation,
except that he never sinned. (Heb. 4:15 Phillips)
This High Priest of ours understands our
weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. (Heb.
4:15 NLT)
Wow. He knows you very deeply, having walked in
your humanity’s shoes. So, how did He
navigate this life, with all of its complexities and temptations?
“I do nothing on my own but say only what the
Father taught me.” (John 8:28 b)
“I don’t speak on my own authority. The Father
who sent me has commanded me what to say and how to say it.” (John 12:49)
“For I have come down from heaven to do the will
of God who sent me, not to do my own will.” (John 6:38)
“Then Jesus explained: ‘My nourishment
comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work.’” (John 4:34)
Let’s look at each of these verses and how we
CoDeWo’s can follow Jesus. How was Jesus taught? From a young boy on, He listened to the word
of God, taught at home and at synagogue.
The Word of God was sufficient for Jesus to the point of when He was
tempted by Satan in the wilderness, He responded to each temptation with a
verse. He not only knew the Word, He
could apply it when He needed to—right then and there. He didn’t look to Himself for wisdom; He looked
to His Father. He learned it all throughout His life. It was such a part of Him that when He was
dying on the cross, He quoted a verse from Psalm 22.
I am saying that His Word needs to be our daily
bread—as important as eating a good breakfast.
For the Word nourishes us and gives us strength to face the day with
confidence. When you hear the Word once a week from the
pulpit, do not consider that enough nourishment. You don’t eat once a week, nor should you be
in the Word once a week. Reading books
about the Bible are not the same as reading it.
Watching someone eat is not the same as taking a bite yourself.
So, if we follow Jesus—I mean, really follow
Jesus, then we must listen to His Father for guidance, direction and any course
of action we should take when someone calls us in a flurry and wants us to jump
in and act. Our CoDeMo is going from 0
to 60 in 3 seconds. But may I suggest a
way to put a foot on the brake?
I find these words effective: “I will get back to you.” Or, "How can I pray for you?" Or, both.
Now you have a chance to breathe. Now you have a chance to speak to your heavenly
Father.
Go to the back of your Bible, to the
concordance, and look up Scriptures that pertain to the situation: “fear,” “anger,” “anxious” or whatever word
captures the moment. Read. Think. Breathe. Pray. Repeat. Even if it’s an emergency, you still need the
Lord’s guidance and wisdom. The whole
time I was driving down to the hospital to see my husband I was praying to the Lord for guidance and strength not to panic. He answered me on all counts.
Rebuke Satan as he chirps in your ear about how
mean/selfish/un-Christian you are. You
are following Jesus. He took the time to
breathe, pray and seek His Father. You
should do no less.
He chirped at Jesus. Satan will chirp at you. Pray for strength to stand. Armor up:
A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his
mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand
firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting
against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the
unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil
spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so
you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle
you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of
truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the
peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the
shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your
helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every
occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers
everywhere. (Ephesians 6:10-18)
Remember who you are in Christ:
I
pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may
know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious
inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for
us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he
raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the
heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and
dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age
but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his
feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his
body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way. (Eph.
1:18-23)
Even Paul, whose relationship with Christ, turned the
world upside down, knew where his power to preach came:
And we have such trust through Christ toward
God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything
as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from
God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new
covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter
kills, but the Spirit gives life. (2 Cor. 3:4-6)
So, are you seeing a pattern here? Interdependency on Christ is the key to your
recovery.
You may be saying in your heart, You don’t know what I face. Many, many people depend on me to help
them. Without me, their lives would
crumble. They always tell me how much I
help them, but at times, I wonder. All
my friendships and relationships with family are based on what I can do for
them. If I were to speak the truth, they
would punish me in one way or another. I
don’t want that. I am lost in their
lives; I don’t know what I would do if all of them were not around me.
Fair enough.
One day at a time, sweet sister.
Give the “crisis” a little time, so you can
pray and not just react. Ultimately our goal, as followers of Jesus, is
to do His Father’s will for our lives.
At the greatest moment of testing Jesus faced—a horrible death on a
cross--look what He said,
He went on a little farther and bowed with his face
to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of
suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
(Matthew 26:39 NLT)
Jesus knew that once He took on the sin of the
world, He would be out of fellowship with His beloved Father. He would, like us all without Jesus, be
alone. Until the price was paid, sin
alienates us from the Father—we, too, are alone, until we are washed clean in
the blood Jesus shed on the cross. The Word puts it like this:
Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned
obedience from the things he suffered. (Hebrews 5:8 NLT)
Philippians expands on this:
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross. (Phil. 2:7-8)
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross. (Phil. 2:7-8)
He suffered to set us free. He suffered to know our pain. He suffered to show that suffering is a
teacher. He suffered to show that to obey and pray is
how we stay on His Father’s path. Psalm 143:10 is how Jesus walked and we are to
as well:
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
So, if we are to be giants, and no longer
grasshoppers, let us rely on Jesus, baby step by baby step, to set us free of
the need to rescue everyone. Our
suffering has taught us that He is the better way to help people. We help by praying for people, by offering
some words from the Word, and then trusting the Holy Spirit to guide them.
Will people get angry at us for focusing just
on Him and not talking for hours about the problem and how it victimizes
them? Yes. At their core, they want the focus to be on
them, not on God and His provisions.
They are like the children of Israel in that desert. We can be like Joshua and Caleb, and focus on
our God, His strength and His power to get us through or we can focus on our
fears and need for approval. Once again, even Paul, that mighty man of God,
knew what his attitude and goal in life should be:
Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of
people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s
servant. (Gal. 1:10 NLT)
He will empower you. Call on His name, trust that He will come and
give you what you really long for: a
sense of worth. You are His child. He does have things for you to do; He wants
them to be done in His power and wisdom alone.
Be a giant/G.I.A.N.T. in His name.
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