Good Samaritan or Good Codependarian?

We DoDeWo’s are not the only ones who struggle with who we should help and how best to do so.  

Don’t all Christians struggle with who to help and who to ignore?

Do we give money to the guy on the corner with the sign?

Do we give food to our next-door neighbor who is a single mom?

Do we tithe and write checks to charities?

It’s hard to know when to help.  We don’t want to be callous, but we also don’t want to hurt the person in the long run. 

A Powerful Parable

Jesus has an interesting exchange with a guy who seems to know best. He knows the Jewish law and what it teaches about  God and others.  Let’s take a peek:

One day an expert in religious law stood up to test Jesus by asking him this question: ‘Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?’

Jesus replied, ‘What does the law of Moses say? How do you read it?’

The man answered, ‘”You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.”  And, ‘’Love your neighbor as yourself.”’

‘Right!’ Jesus told him. ‘Do this and you will live!’ (Luke 10:25-28 NLT)

In modern parlance, Jesus would have said, “Dude!  You nailed it!”  But Luke gives us an interesting insight to this man: 

The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’ (Luke 10:29)

Hmmm.  Interesting.  “Justify his actions”—what does that mean?  Is he trying to impress Jesus with his knowledge?  Is he trying to impress the crowd listening in?  Is he rather stingy, and helps his neighbor only when he feels like it?  Does he help his Jewish neighbors but treats all others with contempt?

This man wants to know exactly who his neighbor is.  So, in other words, is he really asking,

What’s the minimum I gotta do to keep the Law as I help others?   

Funny, isn’t it?  How often do we look for doing just the minimum required to be obedient, so we can say we are doing right?  But, deep in our hearts, we are holding back love.  We view our obedience as just one more item we check off our “I am being good” list. 

Even we CoDeWo’s do this—we look like we are doing right but our love is limited or gone, washed away by years of rescuing.  We are exhausted inside.     

Jesus doesn’t answer the man directly, but tells a parable.  This story has a lovely truth tucked inside of it.  Jesus begins:    

‘A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.

‘By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by.  A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.

‘Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, “Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.”

‘Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?’  Jesus asked.

The man replied, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’

Then Jesus said, ‘Yes, now go and do the same.’  (Luke 10:30-37 NLT)

You’re Kidding, Right Jesus?  

Everyone in the Jewish community despises Samaritans.  They are considered half-breeds, having intermarried with pagans earlier in their history. 

Jewish people avoid Samaritans whenever they can. So, Jesus putting a Samaritan center stage is rather shocking to His listeners. 

This despised Samaritan is unwilling to pass by the Jewish man, the way his fellow Jews had done.  Perhaps his fellow Jews felt the man in the ditch got what he deserved, for no one travels alone.  The roads then are full of thieves and murderers.  This man, by travelling alone, put himself at risk.    

The Jewish men, who scorn and walk past the injured man, are religious leaders. They know the Law.  The irony here is Samaritans only have the first five books of Moses for their Old Testament, whereas the Jews have a much larger body of God’s Word.  Those first five books are considered “The Law” by the Jews. 

This despised Samaritan understands far better who his neighbor is than the religious guys with the whole shooting match.   

Jesus is answering a question from a religious leader.  Hmmm.  Is Jesus saying that it’s way too easy to judge someone and move on than to see yourself in the faces of others?  That our actions speak louder than words?  That the Law says, “Love your neighbor as yourself?” Would you want to be left in a ditch and have your fellow Jews walk right past you with no regard?   

Compassion drives our Samaritan to help this injured man.  He takes care of the man’s wounds.  This injured Jewish man, who in earlier days, may have ignored or scorned a Samaritan, now finds in him a savior. The Samaritan puts him on his donkey.  The Samaritan walks.  They arrive at an inn, and there he makes provision for the injured man.  The Samaritan takes care of him for the night, and then he leaves the man in the care of the innkeeper.  He pays him to cover expenses; if the expenses exceed what he gave, he will bring more. 

Jesus then wraps the story up with a question:  Who is the real neighbor to the injured man?  The answer is very disturbing to His Jewish audience: a despised Samaritan.  The religious man who originally asked the question does not even use the word, “Samaritan” in his response to Jesus.  He just says it’s “the one who showed him mercy” that is the true neighbor. 

Jesus then boils it down: Go out and show mercy, for everyone is your neighbor, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I know what you are thinking dear CoDeWo: See!  The man helped the other guy!  That’s what I try to do!

Yes, I get it.  But let’s recast this story in full CoDeMo and see that it’s not us helping others that is the problem.  It’s when we do things for them that they can do for themselves.  It’s when we lessen the consequences of their poor decisions.  It’s when we help them wade deeper into to sin.  All of this “help” becomes the problem. 

A New Version:  “Sam I Am”

     One day, businessman Joe decides to go to Jericho.  He has some business to do and he can’t wait for his partner to join him.  Joe knows it is dangerous to travel alone, but he wants to get going.  He throws caution to the wind, and heads out.  He figures God will watch over him. 

      Hey!  I am a good person!  I love God!  I know we are not to test God, but I trust He will watch over me on the road.  Yes, I know, I need to go with Bill, but Bill boring to talk to and I need to get going.

      So away he goes.  The first few hours are exhilarating.  He sees no bandits.  He has plenty of water and the weather is fine.  But after awhile, the sun grows hot and he grows tired.  Joe is no longer very alert.  He doesn’t notice the three nasty-looking dudes dogging him.  All he is thinking is, 

      Man, it’s hot.  I just wish I was at Jericho.  They’ve got a great taco place in town. 

      Then POW!  Joe wakes up a few hours later, bleeding, woozy and in a ditch.  All of his belongings are gone, including his money bag.  He just lies there. 

     Then a priest comes by.  The priest can’t be bothered to help Joe.  He can’t get on down the road fast enough. Ditto for the deacon. Both are gone faster than you could say, “Idiot.”  

     Then Sam happens by.  Sam is the kind of guy who loves everyone, and looks with compassion upon anyone who is hurting.

     He immediately runs over to Joe.

     “Are you OK?” Sam asks.

     “Do I look OK?” the man replies.

     “What happened?”

     “I got run over by a taco truck?  Heck if I know.”

     “Oh.  Let me help you.”

     Sam goes over to his donkey, and grabs some olive oil and linen strips. 

     “You’re gonna have to stay still, Mister.”

     “Easy for you to say.  But I’ll try.”

     Sam gets the man bandaged up, and helps him to his donkey.  Sam hoists him up.  Mercy, Sam’s donkey, looks at him with a funny look.  But she starts walking.  

     “Would you like some water?” Sam.  “I don’t have much.  We will need to share.”

     “Thanks.” The man gulps it all.

     Sam doesn’t realize that until about 20 minutes later when he is parched.  Thankfully, the Jericho Desert Inn is just ahead.  They both stop in and Sam refills his water bag.  He buys a bag of chips and some salsa.  He buys the man an umbrella to keep him out of the sun. Sam has no money left over for himself, so he grabs some jerky out of his pocket and gnaws on that for awhile. They still have several miles to go to get to Sam’s house.  He is feeling happy, for he just loves helping people.  Sam still doesn’t know the man’s name, but Sam is glad the man is happily devouring all the chips and salsa.  

      The man is doing quite despite being beat up.  I am glad I came along. 

      But Sam is growing hungrier and thirstier.  He feels guilty asking the man for some of the chips and salsa.  But he doesn’t ask.

      I wasn’t the one beat up and left for dead, remember?   

      Sam is relieved when his house comes into view.  Oh, the joy in Sam’s heart when he walks into his front door!  He sits down for a second.  He jumps right back up.  He must help the man get off Mercy.  Sam is tired, hungry and footsore, but the man needs help. Sam feels so selfish.  Sam runs to Mercy, and sees that the man is asleep.  Sam gently helps him off and leads the man through the front door and into his bedroom, where a comfy bed awaits.  Sam lays the man down. The man is snoring in no time.  Sam sleeps on his rather lumpy couch. 

      But hey!  I wasn’t the one who got beat up!  I can handle this!

      The man slowly recovers.  Sam notices the man has taken off the bandages, and everything looks fine, but the man keeps complaining about how much pain he’s in.  Even after a month, Sam is still racing to the man’s bedside, bringing him food and drink and trying to get that old TV to work. 

Sam is exhausted.  The man sleeps irregular hours, watches that TV day and night, and never seems to care if Sam is asleep. The man demands Sam’s attention all the time. 

Sam questions this but his guilt silences his anger. 

      I didn’t get beat up, remember?

      Another month goes by.  Every time Sam thinks of asking the man to leave, he feels selfish and guilty.  The same old line runs through his head:

      After all, it wasn’t me who got beat u and left for dead.

      Finally, one day at the Jericho Market, Sam runs into Fred, the innkeeper. 

     “Wow.  For a single guy, you sure do buy a lot!” comments Fred with a big grin on his face.

     “Oh.  It’s not all for me.  That guy who got beat up is staying with me.”

     “What!  He got injured, yes, but by now he must be fine.  You need to help him on his way.  He’s taking advantage of you.”

     Sam feels very resentful at Fred’s remark.

     “But he needs me.  He still hurts.  I am showing him God’s love.”

     “He needs to get up and get going.  Laying around isn’t helping him.  Yeah, at first, he needed to recuperate in bed and have your help.  But now, he needs to be up and about.”

     “Yeah.  I know.  What do I do?”

     “Tell him by Friday he needs to go.  He can stay at my inn on his way home.”

     “But what if he gets mad at me?  What if he won’t leave?  Man, I could sure use the sleep.”

     “Sam:  You have a good heart.  He knows this.  You are feeling needed and have purpose in your life with this guy.  But you aren’t helping him anymore.  You are allowing him to take advantage of you and your limited resources.  You enabling him to stay lazy and unproductive.  How does that honor God?”

     “Whoa.  But what will my neighbors think?  I get compliments all the time from them on how caring I am.  They think I really show the love of God in my life.”

     “You do.  Are your neighbors coming over with food?  Are they offering to take him into their homes?”

     Sam looks sad. 

     “I want to honor God in all I do.”

     “Then turn him loose, Sam, and trust God to work in his life.  You are not the only person in the world who can help this man. He needs to move on in his life.  You helped him get on his feet, but that doesn’t mean you walk for him. Even if he finds someone else to take advantage of and doesn’t move on, that is his choice.  You have done your best.  The freedom you are giving him now just feeds his fleshly desire to do nothing. That’s sin, Sam.”

     Sam pays for his groceries and they both walk out to the donkey lot.  He is still angry inside with how Fred doesn’t see the man the way Sam does, but he still thanks him. 

Sam, deep inside his heart, knows that Fred has a point.   

     It was only many years later, walking in the hot sun, did Sam admit that this episode had not turned out the way he thought it would.  He had pictured a grateful man, patting him on the back and walking down the road with a skip in his step.  Instead, what he got was the man begging him to give him Mercy, because his elbow still hurt.  Sam was so tired, so resentful and so glad the man was leaving, that he gave him Mercy. He watched the two of them disappear down the road. 

     Boy, do I need Mercy now!

     Sam stopped, lowered his head and prayed,

     Dear Lord,

     Teach me to give mercy the way You do.  Your Word says to love my neighbor as myself.  I would have wanted mercy had I been in that ditch, but giving the man Mercy was way more than You required of me.  Let my mercy reflect You and do for others only what they cannot do for themselves. 

Once they can, however, or refuse to do so, let me be a good neighbor and set them free. Don’t let my kind of mercy get in the way of Yours. 

     Amen.